***Due to the length of this post and the awareness that people do not like to read long dull paragraphs, I am splitting this post in two or three parts***
I had just stepped into the movie theatre to finally see the new long awaited installment to the X-Men franchise, “X-Men; Days of Future Past” almost a month late, I know. I like to see movies when their hype has dwindled. Prior to seeing the film, I had been texting my, lol. My? I actually don’t know. My friend, yes, my very close friend! Very Close Friend and I were having a conversation you see, believe it or not, I give good advice If I do say so myself. And so, that was the basis of our conversation, Very Close Friend and I, relationship advice. Half way through the movie, Very Close Friend texts me, “I’m bored, entertain me.” I go, “Well, I’m watching Wolverine try to save the world, the world being America as usual.” Very Close Friend goes, “Send me your art, or anything, I don’t really care.” I go, “I haven’t done anything new in a while. Oh oh, I took selfies today!” (Tryna give Insta uno). Very Close Friend goes, “AH! Nudies *insert emoji here*.” Now, before I go any further, I’d like to point out that very close friend and I have this relationship in which, we joke about things like this because, Very Close Friend and I go way back. So I go, “Trolololololololol, why would I send you nudes? I wouldn’t even send my boyfriend nudes. We can’t trust these hoes y’know.” Scroll past the small talk, I go, “Why would you even want nudes though?” and VCF goes, “trying to see if you’ll actually trust me.” Now if you know me, you know I’m always looking for chances to prove my “know-it-all-ness” if you please. So I go, “So sending nudes is now a foundation for trust? It’s now the ultimate trust test? What happened to ‘if you fall I’ll catch you?’ Or, ‘Jump I’ll catch you?’ Or, ‘Lean back, my arms are outstretched.’ Or, ‘give me your debit card pin?’ ” VCF replies, “…I’m not saying it’s the ultimate trust test…just asking if you would send nudes to someone you don’t think will spread it.” Well, now I’m already feeling cranky and agitated, trying to split my attention between the fate of the world as America and having this really important conversation. WHY SEND NUDES IN THE FIRST PLACE??? WHY? Why is it so normal now? If you want to see my breasts, date me, marry me or put a hidden camera in my room. I won’t obviously open my shirt and go, “Here’s your daily dose of my breastities,” shoving them in your face. Now remember guys, VCF was just joking, I didn’t really take it serious, but I had to say what had to be said. VCF asked why I am so touchy about the nudes topic because I said I was going to use this conversation as inspiration for my next blog post.
Why am I touchy? Because it makes no sense to me how a person will knowingly put him/herself out there. Why give someone the match with which to light the impending fire that is your life? If the person wants to see your breasts, ass, vagina or penis, y’all should meet up, hook up. You might use the idea of being in love or trust to validate your choice BUT, we are humans and sweetie, we might care about people so deeply but, we are NOT completely SELFLESS. This is the 21st century; all it takes is one tweet, one YouTube video, one Facebook post, one Vine post, etc. and your life could change. But still at the end of the day, it still comes down to the fact that you have a choice, you hold the lighter. Don’t hand over the lighter even if the person might or does not use it, someone else might or most likely will.
Now, giving an instance, say you’ve become something in life, you’ve been announced as the next potential manager/CEO or political candidate or, you’ve been given a great opportunity but they have to do a background check. Some old hag who’s been harbouring hate towards you for years, who happened to save your nude pictures or leaked sex tape or was going through your videos and saw the sex tape or saw your nudes on your then boyfriend’s phone decides, “Ah, I am the captain now.” It’s all over Jackie. Not everyone gets lucky like Kim Kardashian. Not everyone gets a Realty T.V show and a Kanye West. Now, I’m speaking for both men and women although in the society we live in, no one really makes a big deal about the men –it’s all about the women. “Women are objectified”. “You shouldn’t have done that.” “You don’t ruin yourself like that.” “Shame on you, you have brought shame on your family.” “Have some self-respect.” If a guy’s dick pic or sex tape is leaked, no one looks at him with disdain, with scorn. I can assure you that what most girls would be thinking of is what size his penis is and his fellow men will praise him for his conquest. Granted there will be embarrassment, shame, but it only lasts for that moment. Men are not seen as being objectified. If a woman’s nude pictures or sex tape leaks all that’s on people’s minds (by people, I mean men and women) is, “I feel so sorry for her” “If I were her, I’d delete my social life, start all over” and let’s not forget the almighty, “she’s a slut, a hoe”. It will not blow off. People will forget but only for that moment, only for a period of time. It will always be in the air, waiting to pollute it. Like a dormant volcano, waiting to be triggered and believe me, someone will trigger it.
I’m sorry to use Kim Kardashian again but she is a perfect example. Her sex tape came out 7 years ago but has it been forgotten? No one with access to the internet and a social profile can tell me they have not seen at least one meme, those metaphorical memes leading back to her sex tape, back to her mistake. People even went as far as dragging her child into it. An innocent child who will grow up probably shielded from these memes, from her mother’s past. They will refer to her as Kimye’s child and she will be envied but, there’s always a BUT. Let her mess with the wrong people and, ‘at least my mother’s not a cheap ass skank.’ ‘The only reason your mother’s famous is because we all got to see her suck dick.’ ‘She owes her life to her mistake, her sex tape and whoever released it’ gets thrown out. Now someone will gladly point out “oh Kim’s famous that’s why” of course we can’t predict events so who’s to say that Kim K won’t have become famous eventually or married Kanye without the scandal? But it happened this way.
You can go ahead and say that it’s never this serious. I did state that it was a choice earlier; you do whatever you want to do. I am just expatiating on MY OPINION.
***To Be Continued***