Equality Or Feminism ?

                                                                ***Cont’d from “Send Me Nudes Please?”***

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I think that men should be seen as being objectified too. We are after equality and yet we push equality away. It stares at us, laughing in our faces. “hahaha, I can post a shirtless picture and you can’t. I can hit a man without it being seen as an abuse. I can sleep with as many women as I want to but they will be called and labelled the sluts, not me.” Equality eludes and will continue to elude us because we cannot deal with things like this. I am not saying women should be walking around shirtless. No, not at all. I am saying men should be put on that pedestal, the same pedestal women are put on and vice versa. Misogynists will argue, “Women want to be equal but, slap them because they asked for it and you face women rights laws and activists. A man abusing his wife is labelled and seen as a wife beater. A woman seen lifting a finger to a man is seen as protecting herself from him.” What these ignorant ones seem to let slip through their fingers is THERE ARE LAWS AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Domestic violence also known as and I quote, “domestic abuse, spousal abuse, battering, family violence, dating abuse and intimate partner violence.” READ THE FINE PRINT. I will humour these ignorant ones however:

Domestic Violence can be experienced by anyone men, women, heterosexuals, there are even laws against ANIMAL ABUSE. So stop whining. Granted, women have been perceived as fragile, not as strong as men, etc. (because our culture has marginalized the experiences and perspectives of women from time) and so it is natural for people to think to blame the man because, SOCIETY has always placed the man as the one above, as aggressive, in charge, head of the home, the one whose opinion matters most, etc. This and a host of other reasons is why we press for equality. It always goes back down to, “a man seen touching a little child he does not know can be reported as a paedophile or a pervert but if a woman is seen touching a child she does not know, it’s not a big deal, she might be speaking kind words to him.” NO, NO, NO, NO. If the man is seen acting suspiciously towards the child, it is YOUR responsibility to report that. If the woman is seen acting suspiciously, YOU REPORT HER TOO. I personally am not a fan of hitting a woman. Not because she does not deserve it but because biologically, men are stronger and would most likely cause more damage than a woman would. That does not mean a WOMAN has the right to provoke a man to the point of him wanting to hit her. IF YOU ASK FOR IT, YOU WILL BE SLAPPED. WE WANT TO BE EQUAL BUT WE DO NOT WANT TO MAKE THE SACRIFICES IT REQUIRES. This also is not an excuse for a man to hit a woman. BUT, IF HE HITS YOU, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REPORT HIM. IF SHE HITS YOU, DO THE SAME. The same goes for the issue of rape. DO NOT SAY A WOMAN ASKS FOR IT BECAUSE SHE WEARS CLOTHES THAT REVEAL HER BREASTS OR ASS. No one ASKS TO BE RAPED. IT IS NOT A CHRISTMAS WISH. Getting raped can happen to anyone, male, female, hermaphrodite, gay, straight, ANYONE. Men get raped too. There is NO EXCUSE for RAPE. Men get raped by women, men get raped by men. Do not just say only female rape victims are talked about. Statistics show that women have always been the major victims of rape and it is because of this that more emphasis is/was placed on women rape victims but the world is evolving. Men getting raped is an idea the world is getting used to but that doesn’t make it less of a problem. It is not a competition of “Who gets the most Rape Victims”. RAPE is RAPE. Join the fight to eliminate it altogether.

We are fortunate to live in countries that have laws guiding and protecting us as women. What some misogynists do not understand is that feminism exists not just to fight for equal rights for women on political, social and economic grounds but most importantly to fight for equal rights for women who are in countries that are dominated by mostly men; Women who are helpless and are defined by their fathers and/or husbands and male figures in power, women who are seen as a means to an end. Feminists, true feminists are fighting for humanity as is defined by the present society. Do not take everything regarding equality as a feminist slur, that is pure ignorance. Feminists campaign for women’s rights in voting, property, job securing, contract laws etc. They do this all the while promoting integrity, self-respect, self-worth, and autonomy for women. They work to protect young girls from sexual assault, sexual harassment, domestic violence and any form of discrimination towards women. SHUT YOUR MOUTH WITH ALL THAT IF YOU SLAP ME, I SLAP YOU bullshit. That is not what feminism is about, park your ignorance elsewhere and make use of Google.

I say equality will continue to elude us because, until the majority can acknowledge that in order to be equal, one must take into consideration both parties, being male and female, we will all just keep merry-go-rounding, dilly dallying around this bump that is Equality. By this, I do not mean one party talking blindly and accusing the other of sexism. You cannot gloat and make statements in ignorance. Refer to the above paragraph. I will not just poke a hole in ignorance towards feminism. There are some ignorant ones who refer to themselves as Feminists but do not even understand the meaning of the word/movement. These ones also make ignorant slurs to the people who counter feminism, the Slap Me I Slap You people. If we truly want equality, we should come together to fight for the issues facing Humanity not just Women Issues or Men Issues. The world is evolving, do not bask in the glory of your ignorance and do not point accusing fingers. Until both sides can agree on these issues, I feel Equality will always be one step ahead of us. But sadly, agreeing means coming together, seeing eye to eye, being EQUALS. But we can never really be equals because someone always has to be at the top of the food chain, it’s the circle of life but we can start from somewhere.  Continue reading

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Send Me Nudes Please?

***Due to the length of this post and the awareness that people do not like to read long dull paragraphs, I am splitting this post in two or three parts***

 

I had just stepped into the movie theatre to finally see the new long awaited installment to the X-Men franchise, “X-Men; Days of Future Past” almost a month late, I know. I like to see movies when their hype has dwindled. Prior to seeing the film, I had been texting my, lol. My? I actually don’t know. My friend, yes, my very close friend! Very Close Friend and I were having a conversation you see, believe it or not, I give good advice If I do say so myself. And so, that was the basis of our conversation, Very Close Friend and I, relationship advice. Half way through the movie, Very Close Friend texts me, “I’m bored, entertain me.” I go, “Well, I’m watching Wolverine try to save the world, the world being America as usual.” Very Close Friend goes, “Send me your art, or anything, I don’t really care.” I go, “I haven’t done anything new in a while. Oh oh, I took selfies today!” (Tryna give Insta uno). Very Close Friend goes, “AH! Nudies *insert emoji here*.” Now, before I go any further, I’d like to point out that very close friend and I have this relationship in which, we joke about things like this because, Very Close Friend and I go way back. So I go, “Trolololololololol, why would I send you nudes? I wouldn’t even send my boyfriend nudes. We can’t trust these hoes y’know.”  Scroll past the small talk, I go, “Why would you even want nudes though?” and VCF goes, “trying to see if you’ll actually trust me.” Now if you know me, you know I’m always looking for chances to prove my “know-it-all-ness” if you please. So I go, “So sending nudes is now a foundation for trust? It’s now the ultimate trust test? What happened to ‘if you fall I’ll catch you?’ Or, ‘Jump I’ll catch you?’ Or, ‘Lean back, my arms are outstretched.’ Or, ‘give me your debit card pin?’ ” VCF replies, “…I’m not saying it’s the ultimate trust test…just asking if you would send nudes to someone you don’t think will spread it.” Well, now I’m already feeling cranky and agitated, trying to split my attention between the fate of the world as America and having this really important conversation. WHY SEND NUDES IN THE FIRST PLACE??? WHY? Why is it so normal now? If you want to see my breasts, date me, marry me or put a hidden camera in my room. I won’t obviously open my shirt and go, “Here’s your daily dose of my breastities,” shoving them in your face. Now remember guys, VCF was just joking, I didn’t really take it serious, but I had to say what had to be said. VCF asked why I am so touchy about the nudes topic because I said I was going to use this conversation as inspiration for my next blog post.

Why am I touchy? Because it makes no sense to me how a person will knowingly put him/herself out there. Why give someone the match with which to light the impending fire that is your life? If the person wants to see your breasts, ass, vagina or penis, y’all should meet up, hook up. You might use the idea of being in love or trust to validate your choice BUT, we are humans and sweetie, we might care about people so deeply but, we are NOT completely SELFLESS. This is the 21st century; all it takes is one tweet, one YouTube video, one Facebook post, one Vine post, etc. and your life could change. But still at the end of the day, it still comes down to the fact that you have a choice, you hold the lighter. Don’t hand over the lighter even if the person might or does not use it, someone else might or most likely will.

Now, giving an instance, say you’ve become something in life, you’ve been announced as the next potential manager/CEO or political candidate or, you’ve been given a great opportunity but they have to do a background check. Some old hag who’s been harbouring hate towards you for years, who happened to save your nude pictures or leaked sex tape or was going through your videos and saw the sex tape or saw your nudes on your then boyfriend’s phone decides, “Ah, I am the captain now.” It’s all over Jackie. Not everyone gets lucky like Kim Kardashian. Not everyone gets a Realty T.V show and a Kanye West. Now, I’m speaking for both men and women although in the society we live in, no one really makes a big deal about the men –it’s all about the women. “Women are objectified”. “You shouldn’t have done that.” “You don’t ruin yourself like that.” “Shame on you, you have brought shame on your family.” “Have some self-respect.” If a guy’s dick pic or sex tape is leaked, no one looks at him with disdain, with scorn. I can assure you that what most girls would be thinking of is what size his penis is and his fellow men will praise him for his conquest. Granted there will be embarrassment, shame, but it only lasts for that moment. Men are not seen as being objectified. If a woman’s nude pictures or sex tape leaks all that’s on people’s minds (by people, I mean men and women) is, “I feel so sorry for her” “If I were her, I’d delete my social life, start all over” and let’s not  forget the almighty, “she’s a slut, a hoe”. It will not blow off. People will forget but only for that moment, only for a period of time. It will always be in the air, waiting to pollute it. Like a dormant volcano, waiting to be triggered and believe me, someone will trigger it.

I’m sorry to use Kim Kardashian again but she is a perfect example. Her sex tape came out 7 years ago but has it been forgotten? No one with access to the internet and a social profile can tell me they have not seen at least one meme, those metaphorical memes leading back to her sex tape, back to her mistake. People even went as far as dragging her child into it. An innocent child who will grow up probably shielded from these memes, from her mother’s past. They will refer to her as Kimye’s child and she will be envied but, there’s always a BUT. Let her mess with the wrong people and, ‘at least my mother’s not a cheap ass skank.’ ‘The only reason your mother’s famous is because we all got to see her suck dick.’ ‘She owes her life to her mistake, her sex tape and whoever released it’ gets thrown out. Now someone will gladly point out “oh Kim’s famous that’s why” of course we can’t predict events so who’s to say that Kim K won’t have become famous eventually or married Kanye without the scandal? But it happened this way.

You can go ahead and say that it’s never this serious. I did state that it was a choice earlier; you do whatever you want to do. I am just expatiating on MY OPINION.

 

                                                                                       ***To Be Continued***

MERRY-GO-ROUNDING

For weeks it’s been a constant battle between my mind and my fingers. Trying to come up with something to post on here is harder than my Computer Science class. Well, okay that maybe stretching the truth a little bit or a lot. I was going to dab into fiction but that didn’t work out. Then, I had this brilliant idea to take what happens to me daily and stretch it a bit, writing it in first person like fiction but, that didn’t work out either. It’s been two months since my last post and needless to say, a lot can happen in two months:

The world witnessed the incompetence of Nigerian leaders as over two hundred school girls were kidnapped from their boarding school in Chibok thus launching the worldwide petition, #bringbackourgirls as expected. Nowadays, when something goes wrong in the world, it takes 140 characters or less and a hashtag-whatever-the-problem-is to show that you care and are interested in making a change.

The world lost one of the greatest poets/writers Dr. Maya Angelou may her soul rest in perfect peace. I like to think her soul is resting in perfect peace because, she did what she was destined to do, bringing hope and a sense of pride not only to African Americans, but to all citizens of the world.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got married and their wedding was the most speculated, talked about event in a long while (sorry Will and Katie). The picture of their wedding kiss posted on Instagram became the most liked picture on the site and, Kanye is still an egotistical, brilliant muhfucka (who’s pictured smiling a lot more).

Arsenal won the FA CUP (BLEHH STILL).  Real Madrid became European Champions. The World Cup started –Spain LOST to NETHERLAND/HOLLAND/WHATEVER-THEY-CALL-THESMSELVES. I am going to dwell on this Spain tragedy a little bit more. I had expected a loss or a draw BUT, I did not expect a 5-1 score-line. I MEAN C’MON DEFENDING CHAMPS! Their loss was not even honorary. I MEAN, ROBBEN, SICK BASTARD, MESSED UP SPAIN’S DEFENCE. VAN PERSIE YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN, BEAUTIFUL BATMAN.  EPL NEXT SEASON, BE AFRAID. MANCHESTER UNITED IS COMING WITH FIRE. NOW ONLY IF THEY WOULD START SIGNING BEAUTIFUL PLAYERS. Brazil beat Croatia, as expected even after a marvelous first world cup goal by Real’s very own MARCELO (HAHAHA see what I did there? OWN? LOL).Can someone say BALOTELLI AND PIRLO??? YASS ITALIA, BOO HOO ENGLAND. DROGBA IS STILL THE MAN and Nigeria displayed their lack of tactic and game play creativity as very well expected. Lest I forget, Ghana played a good game against USA but still suffered a loss, at the 86th minute. Theirs is a perfect example of how your life can change at literary the last minute. Well, technically not the last minute. PEPE is a glorified idiot and Germany came with fire.  Spain suffered another loss to Chile, knocking them out of the WC. It is with great pride and regret I say, I called it! I called the Spanish loss before WC started. BAHAHAHA , ADIOS ESPANA. Well, this World Cup is very eventful and unpredictable but still, that’s the beauty of football.

The Chibok girls are still missing aaaaaannnnddd, I got myself a Tumblr and I am now tumblr-crazed.  I also started listening to alternative music genre and discovered my sad deep side. I reached a 1000 song mark on my iTunes. I was told that people hate me because I talk like a fool on ask.fm which could be possibly true I mean, judging by all the things I’ve just written. I still stalk people and I became terribly obsessed with two new writers. Mother threatened to leave me out on the streets if I did not send her my results and I still suck at replying people/communication. I finally got around to reading Chimamanda Adichie’s “Americanah” and I must say her words flow rhythmically, bringing the characters to life in your mind’s eye. I started watching Grey’s Anatomy and once again, am blown away by the Dramatic brilliance that is Shonda Rhimes.

Well, that’s it for today’s episode of Merry-go-rounding with Debbs. Tune in for the next episode and we guarantee, she will have something worthwhile for you to read. No, seriously, I promise to write something better and worth your while. Goodbye folks.

Why I Will Not Post A No Make-up Selfie.

First off, can I just say a very happy birthday to a very special someone. She’s so special most people think we are the same. She is a part of me, one that I will always cherish forever but sadly, she is not me.  She does however, look like me and sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I see her staring right at me. No, she is not my twin, I do not have a twin although, I kind of wish I did I mean, really what could be cooler than two of me? Well anyways it’s her birthday today and I just want to say, happy birthday, I wish I was you. But I am, am I not? Hahaha, it’s okay, I will stop my ramblings now, as that is not the aim of today’s post.

I will assume that everyone reading this post has access to the internet and possesses at least one or two online social profiles. “Err, of course you dimwit, how else will they be able to read the words you foolishly put out.” Hahaha, well excuse me, the little person in my head is right, sometimes, I get carried away and  yes, I do talk to myself. Well, now that we have that cleared up, we can get on with today’s post. (Please, please keep reading, I promise not to talk to myself while typing again. Well, sort of.) Recently, there have been trends passed round the internet from country to country, continent to continent, social media to social media, you get the picture. Peers will perform a task and tag others to do the same and eventually the whole world does these tasks just because others did it as well. Why be a party pooper right? Right! I think the symbol “#” is now the most used symbol in the world. I always thought it was a useless symbol but, it seems it has fulfilled its dream although, I hardly think symbols dream. This should be an inspiration for you guys out there who have dreams. If the hash symbol can do it, so can you. You don’t necessarily have to be a tag. (See what I did there 😉 )

There are various nominations such as the neknom, jam-nomination and the most recent, no make-up selfie nomination. The neknomination is my personal favourite. For those who don’t know what the neknom is, I’ll elaborate –you see, the teenagers of the world got bored with their normal lives and decided that normal drinking from a shot glass or infamous “red cups” at parties or social functions was too mainstream. So, one dandy fellow woke up one day and decided that he/she would take drinking to a whole new level forgetting that sometimes, children take things to a whole new dimension.  I mean, who wants to be ordinary right? We all like to feel like we are special. Thus, teens around the world took it upon themselves to properly carry out this challenge more than effectively. Videos of very inventive drinking methods were uploaded and I do have to say, I admire the innovative ideas put into these videos, they were very humorous. I remember this video I saw by one of the boys in my program at university. He starts off with Barcardi, Jack Daniel’s, Vodka, Red Bull, Beer and some other drink I do not recall. This boy mixes it all up in one beer glass and gulps it down. You’ve got to admire his spunk. Next, he takes 8 shots of vodka and chases it with the red bull. With help from his friend, He attaches a tube to a funnel, puts the other end of the tube in his mouth and swallows as his friend pours some more alcohol in the funnel. Now I’m sitting at my table hoping and praying that this guy does not choke to death. He doesn’t and I feel happy and mortified at the same time. I think to myself, surely this is the end? But no, that was just the beginning lads. Boy wonder strips down and is naked except for his boxers and socks. He also has a large sock in his hands as he goes out the door. His friends follow suit with two cans of beers. At this point, my mouth is wide open and kind of dry (no I wasn’t thirsty because of his body, his body was scrawny and skinny. I was just concerned for his well-being) because it dawned on me what was coming. He steps out. Now for those of you who don’t know, I live in Canada and fortunately enough, this tag started trending in the winter. Winter in Canada is like living in a fridge with no clothes on. Boy wonder strips off his boxers and puts on the large sock to cover his junk. He looks straight at the camera, birthday suite and all and starts running. I do not know who I feared for most, him or the guy behind the camera. In short, it was damn cold, -21C damn cold. I suppose his body adjusted to the cold, conserving heat and hopefully, helped by the fact that he was running, burning energy. He came to a stop in front of the door, looked straight at the camera, gulped the two cans of beer and nominated his friends to outdo his performance. I seriously doubt anyone could outdo that performance. The Neknomination was as stupid as it sounded. Thank God he didn’t get a frost bite. I did however feel sorry for his stomach and his head –he was going to have a killer hangover in the morning.

Yet again, I have taken up most of your time and I haven’t even written what I wanted to yet. If you stop reading now, I won’t blame you but, please, please, please keep going.

#NoMakeupSelfie

Cancer, a monstrous weed that sprouts, squeezing and sucking the life out of whomever it invades. Making them go through pain that Jesus died for so we wouldn’t have to face. Cancer; I have lost people dear to me to it its clutches. I was nominated by a friend to do the #nomakeup selfie on Facebook. Now this tag is done in hopes of creating awareness for cancer alongside creating a platform through which people would be affected and compelled to donate to helping underprivileged people battle this monster. When I first found out about this tag I thought, “How does taking a picture with no make-up on have to do with cancer?” I do believe the initiator of this tag, God-bless his/her soul had good intentions when he/she came up with the idea –cancer patients look vulnerable and natural because of chemo, and to make them feel normal, included.  We could get people to take off their masks, pose with a naked face for a selfie. (Selfie, also a word I think is useless but probably the most used word today. Again I say, don’t give up on your dream. If #selfie could do it, so can you!)

A lot of people are afraid to step out of their houses without make-up on and thus, this trend will make them appear as vulnerable as a cancer patient. Well, almost because, you cannot fathom what the cancer patient goes through. I do love that women all around including women with great influence (celebrities) bother to even post up pictures with make-up off. It just shows the girls that emulate them that, “beauty is not a thing you can acquire or consume it is something you just have to be.”  (Lupita Nyong’o).

I will not be posting a no make-up selfie of myself because: a). Some people have corrupted the message and now, it is self-gratifying and b) the beautiful natural looking faces of people say nothing about cancer. At least not how I remember it on the face of my friend’s mom or uncle. My friend’s mom had breast cancer and my uncle well, they never really knew what kind. It was somewhere between leukemia and lung cancer. I didn’t really see much of my aunt (I call my friend’s mum my aunt because I had known her for so long) during her treatment. I just knew that she was really sick because she looked really skinny and stressed out whenever she came to see her son and me in boarding school. I knew she was always going to India but I thought it was for business, not chemo sessions. I didn’t even know she had cancer until she died a little over a year ago. Her face did not look energetic and full of life when I saw her. Her face wasn’t flushed and she didn’t smile (although she tried to). So, no I do not think going without make-up say nothing to me about cancer but, I am not against it.

My uncle’s, I experienced first-hand. Now of course, he is a man well, was a man and did not use make-up but that is not the reason why I will not partake. He had the best heart and I watched him suffer. I watched him groan in pain even when doctors said he was 70% saved. I watched him relapse. I was not allowed to go see him at the hospital but I did see him when he came over. I’m sorry but, a make-up free face does not represent fully how he or my friend’s mom or any cancer patient for that matter looked. Plain, naked eyes of a make-up free face does not measure to the pain and lifelessness in the eyes of a cancer patient.

A lot of people don’t believe it but they are beautiful with or with-out make-up on. That is why I think some, not all do it. Now you might not agree with me but indulge me. Say you are a girl and you post a picture: #nomakeupselfie bringing awareness for cancer. Go on, do it, it’s for a good cause.  Someone makes a comment, “omg so pretty.” You cannot tell me will not feel a tad bit pleased, happy even. We all like it when we are looked upon as beautiful. So who benefits more from the selfie? You who has just been confirmed as beautiful with a naked face, happy and content or the cancer patient? It is for a good cause.

That picture you posted is the real you, validated and beautiful. That is not cancer, cancer is ugly. It destroys, it torments. No make-up on will not, destroy you. No make-up on will not, torment you.

“I posted a picture of my face, bare. I was compelled to donate. No I did not post it for the likes or comments, I posted it for a good cause. I did a good deed, you should too.”  You defend yourself, just letting people know that you actually did it for the millions of kids dying. Why did you really do it? Self-gratification,  self -validation.  When a boy sees you without makeup he thinks, damn maybe she’s not as superficial. Maybe her Instagram pictures aren’t just filters and edits. Maybe, we can trust these hoes after all. Bravery, that’s what it is seen as. You are brave for putting up a picture with no make-up on. You are brave for being vulnerable, brave for putting yourself out there. “You see, I am a good person.” Who are you trying to convince yourself or the other people who will see this and think, she put up a picture of herself with no make-up on. She’s brave, she deserves validation. She deserves likes. #nomakeselfie, #cancerawareness , #Iamagoodperson. As Daisy Buchanan puts it: “It’s weird that we fetishise the bare-faced woman. We think we’re being terribly right on, modern and progressive when we praise natural beauty. ‘Oh, I can’t bear women who wear too much slap. It’s so sad that girls can’t love themselves the way they are,’ is a refrain of the seemingly well meaning, manipulative man. It’s stealth slut-shaming.”

Of course, this trend has urged people to donate and has raised a lot of money for the respectable charity going into treatments and research. This foundation, the Cancer Research Uk has received over $3.3 million in donations and I am grateful that people donate. I however, am still not buying it and will not get involved. You do not need an  AWARENESS for cancer. People already are aware of cancer. It shouts its presence. I am not saying all the women who post a no make-up selfie are vain. I am just saying some more than others. I am sorry but I will not take a picture of my make-up free face to raise awareness of something people already know about. It is not because I am ugly or scared or think I cannot do without make-up, it is because I walk to school everyday without make-up, all my friends have seen me without make-up. I have nothing to hide. I will not #nomakeupselfie because I am healthy and happy and not likely to die. I will not mock something that destroys.

I cannot continue writing because I cannot see through my tears at this point. I do hope you all have a wonderful day as for me; I’m off to the library to spend what’s remaining of my birthday. Thank you for reading.

P.S to donate £3 to Cancer Research UK, text BEAT to 70099. I did, I hope you do too. Help change a life.

Are You Black Or Nah?

Is you black, or nah?

Recently, I read a blog post written by one of my good friends. In that post, she was addressing the acceptance of self in many words. Ideally, she was talking about the issue of one not being comfortable in one’s skin. Are you comfortable in your skin? Are you proud of who you are? Most importantly, do you LOVE yourself? Yes, I ask if you love yourself because, believe me, there are some people who don’t.
“Black people don’t want to be black, we want to be ‘half something’, we want ties to some exotic land to subdue our blackness, we want lighter skin…that makes people stop on the road and ask, ‘are you half-caste?’…Africa is living in the dredges of post-colonialism, the Europeans took more than just our resources, when they left they took our identity.”

#TeamLightskin, #TeamDarkskin.
A lot of people, I included say that some or most white people are ignorant when it comes to other countries or continents other than theirs (Africa to be more exact) when in fact, it is we, (black people) who are sometimes ignorant. I was in class one day and my professor showed us a video of four Sudanese men who were brought to the States on some sort of study to see how they would respond to the “civilization”. During the course of this video, a girl in my class openly said, “Wow, they do have minds and they do reason, just like we do.” I felt instant disgust at this statement, disgust that was soon replaced with shame. See most of my life, I had never really identified as African. Sure my Father is Nigerian which automatically makes me Nigerian whether I have a green passport or a blue one but, I never really considered myself as one. I rather clung to my mother’s Italian heritage so if anyone asked me, I’d always reply, “Oh, sure my dad’s Nigerian, but my mom’s half Italian and I’ve lived a considerable part of my life out of Africa, that’s got to count for something.”
Have you ever been introduced as an African to an AFRICAN American? Well, here is how the conversation goes somewhat as I recall from 8th grade:
African American: “Oh no way, you’re African?!”
Me: (Staring at this dumb broad like she done’ lost her mind, ain’t you black?) Yes I am 
Her: Oh no way, that’s so cool. I’ve always wanted a lion for a pet.
Me: (“Homie is you crazy? Don’t you know lions are wild animals?” I think quietly to myself) Oh yeah, well, me too. I always wanted Mufasa as a pet.
Her: haha, you’re so funny. Hey! (Beckons to her friend) L’aquiesha Africans are so funny!
Me: O_o. (Well that was awkward)
My fingers got too tired and I was too lazy to finish typing but, you get the picture.

My point is that, some black people (granted they probably don’t know where in Africa their ancestors were stolen from during slavery) in the States and everywhere else totally and blatantly reject that idea or rather that FACT that as long your skin is black or some sort of golden brown/ yellow means that, once upon a time, your great granddaddy was taken from his African country, ploughing a plantation field in Louisiana and probably humming the chorus of “Down by the Riverside”. But, they still fight it, leaning towards the infamous trend, #teamlightskin, #teamdarkskin. My dear assignment helper in time of need (wiki) explains what these words mean:Image

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It’s like my friend said, we black people are so desperate for something else that we hide under this façade. Well, speaking generally, we as humans are desperate to be accepted and so, we put up façades of who we want to be. I guess, the question once more is, do you love yourself? Are you comfortable in your own skin? Would you rather be someone else?

Well, my fingers hurt and it is 5 am I guess that’s all but I’m pretty sure I’ll revisit this topic again. Goodbye people and don’t forget to love yourself.